Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Not His Story: Dear the General

Good night, sir!

How are you there with your love ? I am sure that both of you are in the greatest condition ever. I think i need to tell you something that kinda bother my study night. It's not a huge deal, but i think it's more than enough to make my heart broken.

Few hours ago, i heard my phone ringing and the first thing in my mind must be you, the general. Then, in a flash, i just remembered that you've left me and all of your family last week to meet your love who also known as my role model, grandma. It hurt actually.....because to be honest, sir, i regret lot of things that i didn't do and i blame my self for it..because maybe, if i did it on the first place, you won't feel alone, just like what you said few weeks before your last breathe. And I really miss your evening call...asking me how's my day, where's my mom or dad, or asking everything that you wanna know about technology such as internet. I miss your call....

Yesterday, when i was in the mood to clean up my messy room, i found a blue hat that you gave to me . You said that i can keep it and bring it to your wife's grave so the sun won't kill my look, since you've known that the heat could kill my fabulous look by making me sweat a lot. I wore that hat yesterday and I remember all of those simple things that makes me close to you. 

Then...i remember lot of bad things that i've done to you, especially when I was in my darkest era. I stayed at your home and sometimes being so ignorance to your kindness. And when i was at my home and in the worst called me and i was also being kinda mean to you...and until this moment, i feel horrible for it.

I miss you so much sir....I miss the way you said "Cucu Akung" when i got good score or made you proud because of my achievement, I miss the moment when you 'kidnap' me to sit in front of you and let me speak about anything that you wanna hear, I miss the time when you read Yassin for your beloved wife on her grave with me, and the most important thing, I miss your call....

I am crying while typing those memories here, I am sure you know it, right? I am trying to keep myself busy with college just because i don't want to cry like now. The first week til the 40th day is the hardest time, right? Please tell God, that you want to see me not crying....

I think that's the end of my letter for you, Sir. Don't worry, God will take the good care of you and your wife. Send my huge love for your wife, please. 

Your 2nd granddaughter who miss your call